Journaling is so important for self care and mental health! I cannot stress that enough. Reflection in general is important, but there’s something about writing that helps clarify thoughts, feelings, and ideas. And of course, you now have it to look back on. And if you’re anything like me, perhaps you often journal about your relationships….how they’re going, who you like, who you’re dating, questions and confusion about the relationship. These prompts are designed to help you think through certain “milestones” in relationships, whether that’s evaluating a new relationship, healing after a break-up, or reflecting on another year of marriage. With that in mind, I wrote these prompts to help you reflect.
I am writing with a casual style, basically as if these prompts are for myself to think through. Always feel free to change the pronouns/relationship titles in my prompts to fit your needs. Each prompt is meant to be used individually. You may use one or two, you may at some point use all of them.
Prompt 1: New Relationship
We’ve been dating for about 2 months. What do I like about this person? What do I not like about this person? Which of my dislikes are personal preferences? Which of my dislikes are red flags? What patterns characterize our relationship so far? Do these patterns point to a particular direction? Am I happy with that direction?
Prompt 2: Dating Deal Breakers
I’m noticing that the guy I’m dating actually has a few (or several) of Laura’s top relationship deal breakers (read here if you have no idea what I’m talking about). Do I agree that these are deal breakers? If I don’t agree, what are my reasons? Am I being objective with these reasons? What do people close to me think about this guy? Is it worth it for my mental and emotional health to continue this relationship?
Prompt 3: Thinking About the Future
My boyfriend and I are starting to think about the future together…engagement, marriage, kids someday. Some of the factors to journal about are:
- Values: how similar are our core values? Things like beliefs, worldview, religion, moral priorities
- Priorities: are we on the same page? When I think about my life in 5 years, does it make sense for him to be there? If he pictured his life 5 years from now, knowing what I know about his goals and priorities, would I be there?
- Marriage: do we both want to get married? Do we view marriage similarly? Do we both understand the purpose of marriage? Do we share the desire to commit to spending the rest of our lives together, no matter what hardships?
- Kids: do we share the same desires as far as having kids? If not or if I’m not sure, we need to talk about this. If I already know we’re not on the same page, this must be discussed more in depth before walking down the aisle.
- Finances: do we have similar saving/spending patterns? How aware am I of my boyfriend’s finances? Do I even know how he makes and spends his money? If I do know, can I be satisfied if his money habits never change? Are there areas in my own finances that I need to get straightened out? Will there be large expenses shortly after our wedding (renting/house)? What expenses of each other will we be taking on (students loans, other debt, car payments)? Can we afford life together with our current income and budget? Can we mesh those?
- Living situation: have we thought about where we would live? Is our future living situation obvious (he owns his house/I’m renting with a roommate or already living together), or perhaps more murky (both renting with roommates for example)? Would we move a significant distance or does one of us want to move?
- Pre-marital preparations: Are we both open to pre-marital mentoring or counseling to further discuss important areas of our live and marriage? Do we know a great counselor/pastor/mentor or need to find one? How long would our engagement be? Where do we want to get married? If I’m from New York and he is from Kansas and now we live in Seattle, are we on the same page about a location?
Related Post: DBT & ACT Therapeutic Journal Prompts
Prompt 4: Processing a Break Up
______ and I recently broke up. It’s been ________ since the break-up. 5 emotions that describe how I’m feeling today are _____. This is what has changed since last week/month (depending on how long it’s been). Overall, I’m (moving on, feeling healthy), (moving on, maybe too fast or unhealthy), or (struggling to move on at all). I have to remember that regardless of how I’m feeling today, I am worth loving. 5 positive affirmations to myself in this moment are _______.
Prompt 5: Marriage Reflections
We are approaching our anniversary. What have we learned about marriage this year? How have I loved my husband well this year? Where can I be more intentional to love well? How has my husband loved me well this year? What am I thankful for about my husband? How has our love for one another grown this year? What are our goals for this upcoming year together?
Prompt 6: Friendships
How are my current friendships? Are they deepening, life-giving? Am I being life-giving to my friends, or more of a taker? Are any of my friendships becoming more distant or fading away? Why does this seem to be happening? Is it due to a fault of mine, of my friend, or simply of mutual distance? Which of my friendships are the most beneficial and refueling? How can I intentionally value those friendships this week?
Hope these prompts are helpful for you in your journey. Keep an eye out, because I am posting more therapeutic journal prompts very soon!
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Note: These prompts are original and owned by Ivory & Pine. They are only to be used for personal purposes or in the context of one on one therapy or coaching. They are not to be used for reprinting, group therapy, or commercial use. Thank you for respecting Ivory & Pine’s original work.